shakti (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
markohmark) wrote2020-11-11 05:47 pm
markohmark) wrote2020-11-11 05:47 pm
Entry tags:
so-so, lose control commentary & outtakes
this fic makes me kind of angry/disappointed but at the same time it was definitely an experiment writing-wise, so... let's get into it
background info:
- i woke up @ 6am yesterday morning (and i have a terrible habit of checking my phone if i wake up, oops) and immediately saw a couple tweets about txt's appearance on asc, namely this and this, then went back to sleep
- by the time i woke up again, i had some messed up idea in my head about taehyun talking about this [beomgyu's past r/s or whatever] and using it as an excuse for... practice kissing...? it made more sense when i was half-awake and it felt very vivid in my head so i started writing it down
- i finished writing it yesterday and it was around 2.5k in wordcount. i showed it to a couple of friends, and then caved and asked rose to beta it for me... -->. she basically pointed out that most of the fic DIDNT MAKE ANY SENSE which is true...
- i went thru rose's comments today, then went thru it one more time annotating on my tablet, then fixed up the wordcount on ao3 (it ended up being 3k?!)
positives:
- this was basically a completely new type of fic for me! A) it's canon compliant/somewhat rooted in canon events, which i don't do that often, B) there's... kissing which i've literally been criticized for not including enough of in my past fics TT, C) it's just one scene straight through and isn't composed of multiple scenes, which feels really weird to me D) [spoiler?] does not end happily
- i'm trying to view it more as a writing exercise in like dialogue/characterization/physical positioning to make myself feel better LOL
- first taegyu fic/first wip olympics fic! :]
negatives:
- rose basically made me realize how much of the fic Doesn't Make Any Sense, so i actually ended up scrapping a lot of my fav lines/lines that i liked just because they were unnecessary to the course of the fic... did it hurt!? yea.
- even as a writing exercise, the fic is kinda weak ?_? im just really uncertain about the characterization just because Who Is Choi Beomgyu. it's kind of my own fault but i envisioned it from beomgyu's perspective even though i've really done the most thinking abt taehyun... like i think i can describe beomgyu pretty well externally but i dont understand how his brain works he's kind of strange sometimes
- ITS LITERALLY SO AWKWARD IM SORRY... but also writing blatantly terribad fic is Fun
lines that i cut:
- Then again, Taehyun’s always been overly perceptive--deliberately seeking out Beomgyu for this because they’ve never been close, because he wouldn’t dare disrupt the idol-worship of his hyungs nor his comfortable friendship with Kai. This, too, is the same.
- Beomgyu finds it ironic, really, that they’re the least familiar with each other yet know each other’s deepest secrets.
- there's more but i think it's mostly minor words TT
favorite lines
- Now he knows Taehyun better, knows that Taehyun’ll hold onto every little detail and commit it to his memory. He’s always been greedy for the things he can never have. // kangtaehyun ambitious in every aspect of his life... yes ty
- Beomgyu has spent so much time around the other members that looking at their faces provokes only apathy, but something about this feels different. // ok idk why i like this line probably because im interested in beautiful ppl like beomgyu/taehyun who both literally got 20+ casting offers thru middle school also happening to be apathetic to physical appearance..
- He nudges Taehyun’s foot with his own, letting his ankle slide between Taehyun’s legs: an interlocking jigsaw of some sorts. They’ve never fit together naturally, but they make it work. // this might be my taegyu thesis. THEY ARE NOT MEANT TO BE but that is okay <3 i will still ship my 2pick <3
- “You liked him a lot, didn’t you.” / “I was fifteen,” he replies, an answer in and of itself. “Everything feels like life or death at that age.” // whatever this is literally a first love fic of course i'm going to insert some teenagerisms
- But Beomgyu will never be able to give him those golden afternoons, will never be able to care for him with the recklessness of a first love. All Beomgyu can offer are the shadows of half-conjured memories, a fantasy that’s dissipating around them like smoke. In that sense, every step is a wrong one. // my beomgyu thesis that he is all or nothing and won't do anything in halves... still not sure if this is Actually True but dfshkljl
- Right as he’s about to shut the door behind him, Taehyun adds: “You’re a good teacher, hyung.” // the double meaning of A) beomgyu teaching taehyun how to kiss vs B) beomgyu teaching taehyun how to be a cynic... yes i know this characterization is so bad bcs beomgyu is the no-filter type of person BUT u know what. idk
random:
- heart not giving in from ash's yugioh fic title list was the original/working title
- so-so, lose control is from keshi's more, p much sums up the fic to me i guess TT
- bbb tropes: fitting arguments around celeb schedule, irony the sixth love language, intricate rituals to touch the skin of other men, clinging to "normal" behaviors as reminders of humanity, or: Normal Young Person Roleplay
i think editing is rlly killing me sometimes, like it just takes so long for me to edit my work and... in terms of nanowrimo or whatever i think it's def slowing my output TT but at the same time my fics would be so much worse otherwise/editing really allows me to reflect on what's working and what isn't. so u win some, u lose some
background info:
- i woke up @ 6am yesterday morning (and i have a terrible habit of checking my phone if i wake up, oops) and immediately saw a couple tweets about txt's appearance on asc, namely this and this, then went back to sleep
- by the time i woke up again, i had some messed up idea in my head about taehyun talking about this [beomgyu's past r/s or whatever] and using it as an excuse for... practice kissing...? it made more sense when i was half-awake and it felt very vivid in my head so i started writing it down
- i finished writing it yesterday and it was around 2.5k in wordcount. i showed it to a couple of friends, and then caved and asked rose to beta it for me... -->. she basically pointed out that most of the fic DIDNT MAKE ANY SENSE which is true...
- i went thru rose's comments today, then went thru it one more time annotating on my tablet, then fixed up the wordcount on ao3 (it ended up being 3k?!)
positives:
- this was basically a completely new type of fic for me! A) it's canon compliant/somewhat rooted in canon events, which i don't do that often, B) there's... kissing which i've literally been criticized for not including enough of in my past fics TT, C) it's just one scene straight through and isn't composed of multiple scenes, which feels really weird to me D) [spoiler?] does not end happily
- i'm trying to view it more as a writing exercise in like dialogue/characterization/physical positioning to make myself feel better LOL
- first taegyu fic/first wip olympics fic! :]
negatives:
- rose basically made me realize how much of the fic Doesn't Make Any Sense, so i actually ended up scrapping a lot of my fav lines/lines that i liked just because they were unnecessary to the course of the fic... did it hurt!? yea.
- even as a writing exercise, the fic is kinda weak ?_? im just really uncertain about the characterization just because Who Is Choi Beomgyu. it's kind of my own fault but i envisioned it from beomgyu's perspective even though i've really done the most thinking abt taehyun... like i think i can describe beomgyu pretty well externally but i dont understand how his brain works he's kind of strange sometimes
- ITS LITERALLY SO AWKWARD IM SORRY... but also writing blatantly terribad fic is Fun
lines that i cut:
- Then again, Taehyun’s always been overly perceptive--deliberately seeking out Beomgyu for this because they’ve never been close, because he wouldn’t dare disrupt the idol-worship of his hyungs nor his comfortable friendship with Kai. This, too, is the same.
- Beomgyu finds it ironic, really, that they’re the least familiar with each other yet know each other’s deepest secrets.
- there's more but i think it's mostly minor words TT
favorite lines
- Now he knows Taehyun better, knows that Taehyun’ll hold onto every little detail and commit it to his memory. He’s always been greedy for the things he can never have. // kangtaehyun ambitious in every aspect of his life... yes ty
- Beomgyu has spent so much time around the other members that looking at their faces provokes only apathy, but something about this feels different. // ok idk why i like this line probably because im interested in beautiful ppl like beomgyu/taehyun who both literally got 20+ casting offers thru middle school also happening to be apathetic to physical appearance..
- He nudges Taehyun’s foot with his own, letting his ankle slide between Taehyun’s legs: an interlocking jigsaw of some sorts. They’ve never fit together naturally, but they make it work. // this might be my taegyu thesis. THEY ARE NOT MEANT TO BE but that is okay <3 i will still ship my 2pick <3
- “You liked him a lot, didn’t you.” / “I was fifteen,” he replies, an answer in and of itself. “Everything feels like life or death at that age.” // whatever this is literally a first love fic of course i'm going to insert some teenagerisms
- But Beomgyu will never be able to give him those golden afternoons, will never be able to care for him with the recklessness of a first love. All Beomgyu can offer are the shadows of half-conjured memories, a fantasy that’s dissipating around them like smoke. In that sense, every step is a wrong one. // my beomgyu thesis that he is all or nothing and won't do anything in halves... still not sure if this is Actually True but dfshkljl
- Right as he’s about to shut the door behind him, Taehyun adds: “You’re a good teacher, hyung.” // the double meaning of A) beomgyu teaching taehyun how to kiss vs B) beomgyu teaching taehyun how to be a cynic... yes i know this characterization is so bad bcs beomgyu is the no-filter type of person BUT u know what. idk
random:
- heart not giving in from ash's yugioh fic title list was the original/working title
- so-so, lose control is from keshi's more, p much sums up the fic to me i guess TT
- bbb tropes: fitting arguments around celeb schedule, irony the sixth love language, intricate rituals to touch the skin of other men, clinging to "normal" behaviors as reminders of humanity, or: Normal Young Person Roleplay
i think editing is rlly killing me sometimes, like it just takes so long for me to edit my work and... in terms of nanowrimo or whatever i think it's def slowing my output TT but at the same time my fics would be so much worse otherwise/editing really allows me to reflect on what's working and what isn't. so u win some, u lose some